Lone Star
by Hozukimaru11
Summary: It had only been two weeks and I'd already been transferred three times. I was onto my fourth transfer and I wasn't looking forward to it. My specialty was hand to hand combat. I was also good at Kendo. I was smart enough to get into twelth squad. I was too absent minded to concentrate on kido and I was too clumsy to be a master of stealth. My ultimate downfall was my clumsiness.


**Here's a new story that I've come up with recently. Hope you all like it! :D**

**This takes place before Ichigo came to the Soul Society to rescue Rukia.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own bleach or it's characters**

* * *

Lone Star

Chapter 1

It had only been two weeks and I'd already been transferred three times. First I had been in squad twelve and had been kicked out for ruining an experiment that the Captain was working on. Then I had been moved to the sixth squad where when dueling I slashed one of the Captains valued scarves. I hadn't been fighting the captain, but when my opponent stepped out of the way my blade sliced his scarf. Just recently I had been moved to squad two. I was kicked out for spacing off during instruction and screwing up during several practice missions. So now I was onto my fourth transfer and I wasn't looking forward to it. By now I'd gained a reputation of being a major klutz. I was now on my way to the tenth division. Hopefully having a younger captain would help my case. Maybe he'd understand me better and excuse my clumsiness and absent mind.

Oh how wrong I was! Captain Hitsugaya was no different than the second and sixth division captains. He was awfully serious . . . and short. He looked only a few inches above four foot, whereas I was 5'10. He looked younger than me, but he sure didn't act like it. Well the good news is that he accepted me into the squad, but the bad news even with my power I wasn't given a seat placement like I had in the sixth and second. In the twelfth division power didn't determine ranks it was the mind. So there I hadn't been given a seat placement either, but I assumed I would in this one. I guess there were no positions to be filled or maybe my zanpakuto didn't posses enough power to impress the captain.

I sighed, and patted the hilt of my zanpakuto he was the only one who didn't consider me a screw up. At least he'd never told me otherwise. I couldn't believe how far I'd come only to become the worst shinigami ever! My specialty was hand to hand combat which surprised most people. I was also good at Kendo. I was too absent minded to concentrate on kido and I was too clumsy to be a master of stealth. That's probably why I failed so miserably in the second squad. And I wasn't really brute force material like the eleventh squad members. That's probably why Captain Zaraki didn't even consider me. I was far too scrawny. I was smart enough that I had gotten into the twelfth division and probably would've stayed if I weren't such a klutz (and if the captain learned to control his anger). But my ultimate downfall was my clumsiness.

I remember when I was little looking at the distant walls of the Seireitei with my mother. She'd tell me stories of my father who lived inside the walls. I remember telling her I would follow in his footsteps and become a shinigami and make her proud. She'd smile at me and tell me she'd always be proud of me. Of course that was a long time ago. She died before I was taken to the Academy to learn to control my reiatsu. One of my favorite stories of my father was when he had helped stop a massive invasion of hollows along with one of his dearest friends. The only thing that I couldn't get my mother to tell me was his name. I never understood that, but she said he had his reasons for leaving and not wanting me to know who he was. But I did know. I knew who he was, his history, his standards, and his personality. My mother told me everything except his name and appearance.

I put a hand into my robe and pulled a small envelope. My mother had left it to me to give to my father when I found him. She told me he was still here and that I would know when the time was right who he was. I was often tempted to open the letter and read it, hoping that it would give his name. I stuffed the letter back into my shinigami uniform. I tucked my hair behind my ears and looked around examining the men that I passed. I doubted that I would find him right off the bat, but I couldn't help my curiosity. But soon I was in a less traveled street of the Seireitei and rarely passed by anyone. So giving up my search for the time being I walked around aimlessly. I found myself turning a corner into a dead end street where a small group of shinigami leaned against the wall talking. One boy caught my eye however; he had ear length golden hair with grayish-blue eyes. There was gentleness in his eyes. He radiated kindness in his smile that was truly genuine. Now I'm not the type that believes in love at first sight, but he certainly seemed a trustworthy type. One word to describe his appearance (that I could think of) was beautiful.

Breaking out of my stupor I slowly backed away, and tripped . . . into a shed with cleaning supplies. It was just my luck that I bumped a low shelf it with my elbow on my way to the ground and in return it dumped all its contents on me. Along the walls were the brooms, mops and stacked buckets that also tumbled down on me. I was able to cross my arms over my head just before everything came crashing down on me. I didn't bother moving, wishing I could just stay there. No one would miss me and I'd be able to stay out of trouble and keep from making a fool of myself. But to my horror the boy that I had been gazing at popped his head over.

"You okay?" he even had a beautiful voice.

"Y-yes," I stammered as he offered his hand.

I grasped it and was pulled to my feet. I murmured my thanks not daring to look him in the eyes. I turned and had to contain my urge to run, instead I walked away until I was out of their sight. Then I ran until I had enough speed gained to use shunpo. I didn't use shunpo often and when I did it was only for a short time that I could keep it up and I had to get a running start. I was just a miserable failure at being a shinigami. When I had reached my limit I slowed down and came to a stop. It wasn't far from the tenth division so I decided I would go inside and try to get some work done. I tried to forget about the embarrassing moment and how I hadn't even tried to explain myself. They had all been looking at me and I could tell they were going to ask what I'd been doing there, but I walked away too quickly. I often made a fool of myself and its affect was beginning to lessen. If I weren't so spaced out all the time then maybe I wouldn't be such a klutz, then I wouldn't make such a fool of myself, then maybe I'd have some friends. It would take care of all my problems.

'Problems don't solve themselves' my brother used to say to me when I was a little. I knew I had to work at focusing. Kade helped me with those problems and taught me how to solve them. He was my hero. The only thing that I could ever focus on was history. History was stories and I loved reading. Those stories took me on adventures that I could only dream of.

My older brother and I were the best of friends when he was alive. Even as a little kid I was an outcast. Though I was oblivious to the looks people gave me. Kade wasn't and I had never understood why got so nervous when I wandered to far from home alone until after his death. He was the one that taught me that everybody had something worth knowing. He and mother taught me everything that made me who I am today. I wondered if my father had been there what would have changed. I wasn't angry that my father wasn't there and I didn't know if he'd even care that I'd been looking for him once I found him. From what my mother had told me he was a kind man, but I did know that it'd been a long time and he never visited once. Maybe he'd changed or maybe my mother was wrong and he wasn't still in the seireitei. All these maybes and not one answer, if only Kade were here.

Kade had caught a dreadful illness that took his life a few decades back. Then it was only me and mother. My only friend in the world had been stolen from me. Even with mother with me things weren't the same. I'd always had Kade as my friend it was the first time in my life I'd realized I was alone, I realized how the other kids in the district looked at me. I was a freak to them. I was tormented and abused. Then I found a hidden power within me and after that they feared me. I was happy about it for a while that I was finally in control but then I saw what I was becoming. I turning into the thing I hated and feared the most. I tried to contain myself and eventually I never left the house. I felt more alone then I had ever been before and that's when Seisho was born. From my loneliness I found a friend.

* * *

The weather was perfect tonight. I had climbed up to the roof to lie on my back to look at the stars. Not a cloud was in the sky. The stars seemed to be calling to me telling me that I wasn't alone. It was a comforting feeling. I knew every constellation by heart, but what I loved most about them was the stories they told. Every night there was a different story to be told. Some nights when the weather was bad their stories were hidden and it was like someone was standing there preventing the message from being received. I understood them. Wanting desperately to say something but something blocking their words from being heard. Tonight they were being heard. Some people might call me crazy, but I knew the stars each one by name. I will enjoy watching their beauty dance across the sky tonight.

"May I join you?" a voice came from behind me. I yelped and sat up twisting my body around to see who was behind me. It was the boy from earlier. Heat rose to my face from embarrassment, thankfully it was dark enough he didn't see it.

"Sorry I didn't mean to startle you," he said quickly.

"I-It's OK," I stuttered. He raised an eyebrow at me awaiting my answer to his previous question.

"Oh sure, please do," I wasn't making a very good impression, but it was better than our first encounter. He sat down next to me and smiled.

"I didn't get a chance to ask your name earlier," he said adding to my embarrassment.

"It's Nikiya," I told him. "What's yours?"

"Raiden."

Awkwardness hung in the air threatening to suffocate me. I didn't know what to say. Finally I just laid back and gazed up at the starts again and he followed suit. But it still was awkward feeling his presence there next to me. Just like the when the weather was bad and blocked the starts from speaking I couldn't seem to bring myself to say anything. But what was blocking me? I realized other than Seisho I hadn't had a friend since Kade died. It was fear that was blocking my words. So I took a deep breath.

"Do you know any of the constellations?" I asked quietly.

"No,"

"Would you like me to show you some?" I looked at him and he smiled in reply.

Almost instantly that awkward feeling melted and my embarrassment was forgotten. I began to show him find the constellations, and tell him the history behind them. Slowly that wall of fear began to fade. I was becoming more and more comfortable with him. We talked long into the night. About the stars, training, squad members, and told stories of the Academy days. Raiden was in the third squad under Gin Ichimaru. He was really good at Kido and he had many friends. He wasn't a seated officer, at least not yet he assured me. I hadn't talked with someone like this in a long time. It felt good to be able to confide in him.

"So where are you from?" He asked me. Normally I would be hesitant to get into personal stuff so soon, but the look in his eyes made told me he could be trusted. He reminded me so much of Kade that he could have been his clone.

"North District 49. We were a very poor district, meals were usually 3 maybe 4 times a week. My brother died there when I was young from an illness, my mother died before I went to the Academy." I decided not to talk about my father. "What about you?"

He hesitated before answering, then whispered, "East District 80." I sat up and looked at him in awe. It was the most brutal blood thirsty district in the Rukongai. I wondered how he turned out to be so unscarred. At least on the outside, maybe there was more to him than I thought. I felt bad for pitying my life when his must have been a lot worse.

"I'd been there ever since I left the world of the living. It was hard. Every day was a struggle just to keep from being killed. I didn't have time to worry about meals I was too busy trying to protect whatever life I had left. Several times I came close to starving to death," remorse filled his eyes. I wanted to find some way to comfort him, but that awkwardness had come back. It was so personal and I had barely met him. All I could mutter was how sorry I was he had to endure such hardships.

"Is it normal for a soul to have memories of their earth life?" he asked me.

"It all depends on how strong the memory was. When a soul dies and goes to the soul society it passes through a barrier that erases their memories. It doesn't erase knowledge though. Like the basic knowledge of speaking, walking, your name, and stuff like that. Some strong memories are able to stay with the soul. Normally if that happens the soul eventually forgets because time passes more slowly here," I was pretty impressed by how much I remembered.

"Do you know what happens to little kids? Children too young to take care of themselves," he asked looking troubled.

"Well if the child is newborn age or younger than they are usually born from souls in the Rukangai, but it doesn't happen often. If the child is about a year or two old when they die then they are usually sent to live with other souls that would be willing to take care of them despite the time they died," he looked slightly more relieved. We sat for a moment in silence. I finally couldn't bear my itching curiosity.

"Why do you ask?"

"I remember how I died, but vaguely. It's becoming more and more of a blur, but there is one part that I remember. There was someone else with me. I remember the look on his face, he was terrified. It was a small child, about 2 years old. I just wanted to know what would've happened if he'd died too," he told me. Again I found myself at a loss for words. I could tell he still seemed troubled, but he was good at putting a mask on. He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. Then he thanked me and went back inside.

I read that look in his eyes. He wanted to find that child more than I wanted to find my father. And the only reason I was able to answer his last question was because I was one of those rare cases. I was born into the soul society because I had died as a newborn.

* * *

**Please Review! It means a lot to know people actually like my story enough to say so.**


End file.
